At what point do you just kinda give up and just go with the flow? When do you give up on your dreams and hopes and just settle for what you have now? Can a person really go through life on auto pilot so to speak? Why can't i stand up for myself to certain people? Why, why, why....????
how long can you keep putting your feelings on the back burner? Why do i ask all this stuff?

What do you do when it seems like it all is coming to a head? All the frustration, pain, anxieties,and stuff are coming to a boil. Do you run, do you hide , or do you just keep on like its not happening?

I wish that there was a way to look into the future and see the results of a choice or decision that a person has to make. I am so scared to make the wrong decision that i usually end up not making one at all. Which i have found out is sometimes worse. Who do you turn to whenthe one person you thought you would always be able to talk to about anything isn't really there. They are but you would do about as good as talking to a tree. Does it all make any sense? Maybe. This jumbled mess in my head. Too much. Serenity. Calm. Chaos. Peace.

Well , here it is the month of February. instead of looking forward to it i am dreading it. I have surgery scheduled for feb 23 for my right shoulder. i am relieved but worried too. One good thing is the new addition to the family. Brayden Steven Vance made his entrance to this world on January 26th at 2:29 am. He weighed 6lb 8oz and was 20 inches long. He is such a precious baby. Now if April would hurry up and get here so the next addition will be here, this one will be a girl. well time to try that thing called sleep.?