So here i am once again, living with my parents. i had so many dreams and plans for my life and where have they gone? Down the drain pretty much.Some days lately i have really had a hard time keeping myself out of a rut. well more a depression but i like to call them ruts cause it doesn't sound as bad. If it had not been for my morning text or phone call that helps me get my butt out of bed sometimes i truly think i could just lay there and sink more and more into my rut. But i am trying, i am trying not to let myself get real depressed because of my living situation. I know that i can change it on down the road but it is the now i am having problems with. I'd say just about everyone can say their parents drive them crazy. Don't get me wrong i love them i just can't handle being there as much as i am.
It is only 25 more days till i can halfway prove some Dr's wrong and reach another milestone in my life. That dreaded 3--0. I look at it just a bit different than most. I never thought i would make it past 25, so 30 is a milestone in itself. The Dr's told me when i was twenty i would be in a wheelchair by the time i was thirty, i get to prove them wrong (for the moment anyway). It does seem more and more however i am gonna have my worst fear come true. That i will live my life alone. and by alone i mean a significant other. I have friends that i know will always be around.
well time to get in bed.

Its just another day in this lovely month of may. i had to throw that one in somewhere. So here it is just slightly more than a month til i hit the big 3..0.. mark. I'm still not sure how to look at it. At one point in my life i never thought i would make it past 25, so turning 30 should be considered a milestone in itself. That is five more years than i ever expected. Not to mention they have been pretty interesting ones at that. But what about the next five? Can i make it that many more,, or even more than that? With my health declining more and more i am worried that the measures i am taking now are just too little too late. I hope to be proven wrong.